A Fire Shut Up In My Bones

 

The first thing I would like to do is to say that God is more wonderful than all the words I could ever write. He’s more glorious than all the words that have ever been written about Him or shall ever be written about Him. There is no masterpiece hanging in any musuem or painted on any ceiling anywhere in this world that could express the beauty and majesty that radiates from our God. He is the most just judge ever to sit on the bench, He is the most merciful  ever to impose  sentence on the guilty, He is the most loving Father ever to rear children, the most gracious Host ever to accomidate his visitors, the most caring guardian of those under protection and He rewards us when we have done nothing to be rewarded for doing.  How amazing our God truly is in all the universe.

I was thinking earlier about the Lord and what He is doing in my life. I have taken a beating the past couple of months. I have been under constant attack from every direction you can imagine. I’ve felt completely alone at times and experienced great lows in my spiritual, mental and emotional strength.

Praise God I was never really alone. Praise Jesus,  He loved me enough to die for me…. but not only me. He died for each and every one of us. He died for you, reading this post, He died for that person working in their front yard. He died for that mother getting her child off to school this mornng. He died for that Dad working hard today to support His family. And what about that person behind the counter at the corner store? Yeah, that’s right He died for everyone. He died for the baby that was just born and for the elderly dying at this very moment. He gave His life for the one loved by everyone and the one who is loved by no one. He died for the nurse working the E.R. and the patient under her care. He died for the police officer responding to a burglary call and for the one committing that crime at this very moment. He died for the emergency workers tending to the accident victims on the interstate and all the disgruntled travelers stuck on the highway because of that accident.  He gave His life for the millionaire in the mansion on the hill and for the one living under a bridge right now. He died for the model citizen and for the menace to society. He died for the politicians and the voters, the able bodied and the afflicted. He gave His life for the school teachers and all their students. He died for the virgin and the whore. He died for the drug addict lighting His crack pipe as you read this. He died for the murderer just as well as his victim. He died for each and every soul in this world today. However, there is no one alive now, there has never been anyone who has ever lived and there will never be anyone born in the future who deserved what Christ did for each and every one of us. A gift can not be earned. It can only be received and hopefully accepted for what it is and appreciated.

I accept my Savior’s gift that He freely gave to me and all the rest of humanity. I thank Him for His sacrifice which has made me right with God. I am covered by His blood which washes me clean. Praise Jesus for sending us the Holy Spirit through whom God speaks directly to our hearts, minds and souls. I have recently wanted to give up. Just to lay down and give up the fight. My joy had been replaced by misery, my peace by strife and my faith had waned and I was flat on my face being beaten down day by day.  Though I felt like I could not handle any more His Spirit would not let me escape. The desire to struggle forward burned inside of me.  I cried out to God many times through this period. Sometimes I felt an immediate response and others I felt nothing. Then I reached a point spiritually and mentally that changed things.

I became very desperate to get my life back on track. To make God the center again. I had let too many things push Him from the center of my life. I cried out to God and asked Him to rescue me, to draw me back, to not give up on me and to save me from my misery. He has done just that. He has put a desire in me to work harder than before, to serve Him with all my strength and with every talent He has given me. A desrie that burns like a fire shut up in my bones. I want to serve the Lord and that is a conscious decision. I want to serve the Lord in any way He lays before more. I desire to serve the Lord more than anything in life. I have allowed many things to detour,  discourage and distract me from that desire but I am getting stronger,  praise God.  He has never given up on me. He will never give up on me. It is I who almost gave up. It is I who must fight harder. It is I who must NEVER give up.

I love the Lord and with His strength and guidance I know that I will fight my way back to the place I was spiritually and then I will exceed that place as the Lord carries me higher. Praise God that He doesn’t give me what I truly deserve. Praise God that He loves me so much He is willing to do anything, including sacrificing His only Son, to save my soul and give me life eternal. Praise Jesus for His death, for His blood and most importantly for His triumphant return from the grave. A return which gives me hope for that day when the Father will raise me from the grave. In that day I will worship all the persons of the Trinity and continue to do so forever. I look forward to that day. What a day that will be! Amen?!